Hey King Alpha

I seem to write when there is so much on my mind and my spirit need to feel free. It feels polluted and heavy by everything that has been going on, here I am sitting here like oh I am not good enough? What makes the next so better than me is it the years she has on me? Please excuse me while I write out truth, I came to know you at a time when my heart and soul was lonely and so in love with another, this the type of love that two people don’t have to lay with one another to find. My teacher and my ACE he was and he made me even more better, the good in me comes from God the love in me is for all in this world that’s so dark. Just that empathetic and humble I am, I been like that since I was young.

Then came you something special on you and I connected with you. Let’s just say you woke my hurt soul, these feelings I was having for another the desire to know you. Why you didn’t tell me no? DEAR GOD!!!! I wish you told me NO!!! If you loved her so and she was enough you would’ve told me NO!!! I hope you fix those things in you that struggle so you want leave another in pain. Dear God I played a huge part in this pain, but you didn’t treat me just like some toy and I thank you for that. You was gentle with me I’ll never forget your heart beat, I felt your heart beat next to mine it was calm and it was free. I cannot forget being able to sense everything you was feeling this wasn’t no min to min, this was something deep something sweet I’ll always keep. Your strength, your heart, your desire to want to be just happy and free and the best man I know and believe it is in you!!! I’ll never regret you even with the pain of connecting with you brought me tears and joy, but I know what it feels like when someone already has your heart and mind.

I’m just happy I get to know you as someone forever special, and I hope you understand even past that one mistake. Loyalty from me will have you amazed and will always be, I respect and honor the King in you ain’t nothing like a “King Alpha” one who is strong and wise and literally will shake your soul!!! Nobody can say anything bad about you to me, I’ll always refuse to hear it or even give it room to breathe. I promise this a real life scene out of a movie, just some things I’ll keep sacred for ever but the short time with you felt like HEAVEN!!!!!!!!

Thank you for being the man that you are grateful to know you!!!!! I genuinely wish you nothing but peace, genuine unshakable love, joy& pure happiness!!!!!!

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Reasons a girl needs her father.

Sad part is I once knew men like R.Kelly and I once placed the blame off on my dad for not being there. A girl child needs her father so much that it is ridiculous, a father teaches a girl child what she deserves. I wondered why everyone else had their father, and I couldn’t have mine? I dealt with a lot of neglect and being pushed aside as if I didn’t matter, and that pain caused me to search for a love that never existed and that died back in 1999. I hated that man for years, and I promised I would never cry when he died. Why would I cry for a man that was barely ever there? I don’t know what it is, maybe it is the connection kids share with their parents no matter what due to birth. But I was broken that day the man that help give me life was gone. And I didn’t get the chance to ask him my so many how come? I was 14 when my dad died and here I am at 33, I will never birth a child into this world unless I am sure of the child father. Father’s be there for your kids especially your daughter, be the best good loving role model possible. You are molding her and preparing her, your true love and guidance will be her teacher of what she deserves in a man. I humbly ask that it be good and admirable, lead and guide her properly so she’ll never run into a R. Kelly.

A girl child needs her father for so many reasons so she won’t grow older and search for that void. So she will be stronger in the mind, and know what to stay away from. A father teaches his daughter the proper love, that good Love so she won’t run into the pretender. The pretender that pretend to love her, just to get into her mind and manipulate and control her. A pretender will find a young girl weakness and prey on it, knowing what he wants it to use and control her for his own personal gain. I have learned throughout life, the hurt people hurt people. Some men do it intentionally, and some men do it unintentionally. This is more than enough reason the girl child needs her father, and she needs him to show in action what genuine love is. And when she knows that genuine love, she’ll never accept anything less than the best.