Live out Your Purpose

When he said “I am starting to see this life from a bird’s view”. Ermias Tha Great a.k.a Nipsey Hussle💙🏁 I believe he knew his work was just about done. One thing about God is He is beyond awesome, every human is born with a purpose. And one thing for sure is God is a promise Keeper, He will never let you leave your work undone. God is also a PROTECTOR, and JEALOUS God… So much so that He will never allow anyone to suffer more than they can handle, I know at 34 years old I have been through some storms. Since birth I have been dealt things I know I was meant to endure, because I was equipped to do it. There are times I get exhausted and yet I push, because I am not empty. Those things that used to bother me and cause me to tremble I see differently, things that would make certain people throw in the towel or look for pitty for I cannot pitty anyone and I won’t hand it out either. I remember one of the moments in my life, when I felt as if life was over. I cried for days and I didn’t see myself here now, I just knew I wasn’t going to make it. But, with God. My Brother. My Uncle. My Mom. My ACE. My Cousin. And most of all me I am here, I am stronger and wiser and I will push anyone in my view to the best version of themselves. Remember God holds all Power and you are connected to Him, so tap into that ENERGY and LIVE your Purpose. Make sure your work isn’t left undone, there will be plenty of time to sleep when God speak the words it is Finished. I command those feeling like throwing in the towel, and feeling like your life is over because you are confronted with change that causes you FEAR to do it scared. To Love in truth, to respect all you meet, to lose the anger, lose those things that are draining you. Stop lying, stop pretending. I am not saying be perfect, I am saying live in your truth and do it in a loving respectable way that your light will be energy to those who have lost their zest or spark. Believe in you when no one else does on earth, be your own cheerleader and remember God is pushing you and behind you and beside you and leading you every step of the way. Remember the power your tounge holds and know that you can, and you most certainly will do all things through Christ who is your strength and biggest support system.

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Blessed Is She Who Believes!!!!

I remember where I came from because I never want to be a bad experience to the next person. I believe so much in respect that in run through my veins, this is the quickest way for me to speak very loudly words full with truth. In the position that I am in it has stretched me, it has challenged me and it has made me a even more better human. I believe all people should be treated with respect, I believe there is a way to lead stern and to keep this one positive key in the midst of leadership. I am no perfect human being, and I’ll never allow my troubles to come with me into a place of leadership. I worked hard to get where I am, and I wouldn’t be in the position I am in if I didn’t deserve to be there.

Fact is you will run into some silent dream killers. And then there are the ones that are loud and rude dream killers, but blessed and favored is the one who believes that she can or he can with his whole heart. Never allow anyone to take your joy, or take that positivity out of your life and heart. Because no one has that right and you can do anything you put your mind to, and you can do all things through Christ who is your strength and beyond.

Whatever God says you can do you can do because He equipped you to do it even when you feel stressed or pressures you can. Because Greater is He that is in you, so don’t worry about the silent dream killers. Or those who try to destroy you, and tear you down and push you to your breaking point of losing your view of where you want to go in life. Have faith in yourself and push yourself, to be the best version of who you are and who you are called to be.

Real Man!!! Thank you!

A few days ago I went over my life and I looked back at #relationships I realized every man that had been in my life was simply horrible. I have dealt with the worst of them, I have dealt with physical and emotional abuse and my life being put in danger by a few. The control issues and manipulation, I have never known a good man until 5 years ago. He ain’t perfect and fact is that made him even greater in my eyes, this one taught me many valuable lessons and pushed me out my comfort zone I wouldn’t be the leader I am today if it wasn’t for him. Thank you JLC!!!! On a whole higher level, see with the bad there will always come the good and I am grateful to know my ACE. I believe in showing respect where it is due and a woman should honor a good man. Thank you ACE for being a teacher too, one who taught me valuable lessons. Grateful for you!!!! And it gives me hope. As I wait for the One, I will wait with patience and never settle for less than because of this great man I still hold hope and a better view. That good men do live, as a woman you cannot go looking for the ONE you simply have to WAIT!!!!

I have had to endure a lot of pain wanting badly to have that love back that I give. As a girl child growing up without a father, I was never taught what a good man looks like. I believe everyone is born with a purpose, and no matter the road there are valuable lessons. And I understand God sent this man to be my teacher, to show me what a good man looks like. The journey with my ACE wasn’t easy, but he taught me how to forgive in truth and how to let LOVE win no matter what it looks like. He taught me how to endure, long suffering, loving someone from your heart and soul and honoring the divine connection and forever friendship.

I genuinely know who I am a woman with a awesome heart. Imperfect, have flaws. But, I know I will be blessed with the best. Just when I lost hope on any good man existing, I learned from you. A man that I am grateful to Know, and until the end of time ACE you know how much I’ll always love you.

Who am I?

I am a imperfect human being that will never hide my imperfections. I’ll never pretend to be this perfect human, because no one on this earth is or even exist. We can just strive to go HIGHER and be a bigger and better version of ourselves and on that path to better, we will make mistakes and slip it’s called learning. One thing about me Ebony Dawn Love I will always be this senstive being, I will live and die a empath. I’ll never allow anyone or anything to take that part of me away, because that makes me exactly who I am. Peculiar, wise, misunderstood, test me you’ll meet the LIONESS in me. I believe in RIGHT!!! That’s why after God I’ll always correct me when I am wrong. That’s just who I am that REAL!!! I know God exist and LIVE, I guarantee I upset Him at times because I allow things to get to me too deeply but I am only human. I also guarantee none of this separate me from HIM!!!! I rather live in all my truth then to hide anything, I learned a long time ago my only mission is to please God to the best of my ability. Sometimes good spirits are tested the most and that’s because God knows we can handle it!!!! No matter what we can handle it through stress, pain, let downs, persecution, and broken heart we can handle it and we will always bounce back to GREATER and BETTER on a HIGHER level elevated with more POWER!!! It’s the unbreakable CONNECTION!!!! 💙

I desire to see more love in this world it’s simply too much hate. Too many people adding more pain to one another with their selfish acts, women being broken down mentally, emotionally, spiritually. By selfish men who only think of themselves, let’s not forget about the disloyalty that runs rampant in this earth realm. When truth is all a woman like me wants to do is LOVE deeply, and give selflessly as much as I can. Not one to look for anything in return, but the same LOVE and genuine RESPECT that I give. But, I always have to keep in mind that everyone heart ain’t like mine. But, that’ll never get me to doubt the change in this world that can be, and that comes with people laying down their selfish ways. Stop lying and live in your truth, but most of all do it in pure LOVE with respect and value for others and honoring the next being existence. Stop being darkness, stop draining others, stop taking from people like they owe you something. Be honest with people, and when you blessed to meet genuine good people cherish them. Because they are very precious and valuable so keep them close, and don’t push them away with your selfish ways and throwing your indifference towards them. Because truth is every spirit and soul do matter, make sure you planting good seeds and nurturing the next being a light. And remember it never hurts, to check on those strong ones and ask them are they okay? Because truth is just to know a person care in truth, can nurture and be healing to a soul that might need that extra push and encouragement. This is who I am and what I give, and pray to start seeing it more in this world and truth is it starts one by one so pay it forward.

When “Love” ain’t enough.

Started off as a connection that is unexplainable. I used to be the girl who was attracted to looks, oh my first response would be oh he is fine you were different. I saw something in you that only God could show me, I saw in you what I was meant to see. Then things turned into a friendship a bond you said would never be broken, a bond you said you would never allow anyone to come between. Every time I saw you my heart would smile, I could talk to you about anything. You know things about me no one else knows about me, you were always there anytime I needed you. Felt like I couldn’t breathe when I lost you, I remember many sleepless nights. The pain of knowing someone is meant to be in your life, and the person allowed outsiders to fog his mind in every single way. He allowed pride to get in the way of what was a precious bond, someone I know deep in my heart loved me and told me back when I spoke the words I love you.

You were my strength here on earth and second to God you were everything to me, I adored you more than anything. I sacrificed, I suffered, I even took the blame when you were so wrong. There were times I couldn’t stand you and was so angry, to find out someone who meant the world to me would betray me was painful. I suffered in silence, my heart ached so bad it felt like I was dying daily. I was torn between pain, even when I love(d) you so much. I could never hate you because that’s not who I am, how could I hate the man who took me through hell? But, at the same time taught me so much, the love I had for you saved me(you helped save my life) I was broken and torn from the inside out but never stopped loving you. I don’t believe in giving up on people I genuinely love, and dear God knows I love(d) you from my heart and soul. You were my friend that I needed and loved dearly, and I know that LOVE pushed you away and caused you to do some of the things you did that brought me great pain. I know you very well, and I was beyond loyal to you. The man who pushed me to be better, and taught me the true meaning of love. See, what I know is love is beyond a beautiful thing, but it ain’t always easy. There will be tough times and times you cannot stand the other person, but when love is genuine it will always win and overcome any obstacles.

Love is patient and kind, love doesn’t envy, love isn’t proud or is it self-seeking. Love isn’t easily angered or does it keep any record of wrong, there is Faith, Love, Hope. And the greatest one of them all is LOVE!!!!! I know in my heart the promise, I know I was meant to LOVE you like I did. I know I am a part of your PURPOSE, I know the things that scare you. And what I learned is you cannot force a selfish/prideful man to wake up, so I finally woke up to realize no matter how much I love you and need you. No matter how much you’ll always mean to me, no matter how painful it is I had to let go.

I know people will probably say oh you been through a lot and love him in truth. Yes, but sometimes enough becomes enough. You cannot make a person change their ways, they have to do that on their own. You could love the hell out of them, and it still won’t be enough unless they welcome it just as much. I know you supported me and encouraged me, prayed for me and uplifted me just like I did you and I know you care. I have seen it in your eyes and the connection, I just said no more games or lies. You cannot love a man and lose yourself in the process, the best part of me I gave was true love and sacrifice. Women even if you know a man is meant to be there, he has to still want to be there.

2AM

For the last few nights I have been up way past time simply because my mind won’t stop moving. He has been on my mind the good and the bad, wondering what do you do when you understand a person response. But don’t understand their reaction, everything from the last few years are coming back to me. I am reminded of the pain because of him, being anywhere close to him brings up the pain.

Truth is I took time to try to get rid of something that won’t leave, you cannot make anyone see they are supposed to be in your life. You cannot make anyone see the pain they have caused, when they are simply too selfish. I haven’t been the only one to bring this word to life regarding him and it is truth. The most selfish, stubborn, prideful, good, loving, awesome man I have known. Everyone has two sides to them and it is simple hell that I know them both, when you love someone you love through the good and the bad. He took my heart and soul from me, I love him so much it hurts. And I mean that literally it is painful, it is a thought process of why? Why will my heart not let him go, I know the answer is because I am supposed to love him. He is supposed to be in my life I need him to be there so much, that it simply aches every inch of my soul. The love for him gave me reason and helped saved my life, when it simply felt hard to breathe. Even though it hurts so bad, I have to let him go. He don’t deserve this love and he’ll honestly never find one like me, that will be loyal as I have and understanding. No more, I am tired, you cannot win with a prideful and stubborn heart. There is simply nothing else left to give, Dear God please heal. Please restore and rebuild and don’t allow this pain, to be inflicted off on others. Don’t allow not understanding to cause unwanted questions. I am more than worthy to call friend, I am worth it to get to know. I am a good woman who is beautiful and loving, I am a soul with a heart who matters. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am awesome and a good loyal woman. I will have s support system around me, one who shows no jealousy. Ones who don’t gossip, or do horrible backbiting and tearing me down as a human. I will be blessed with family who isn’t blood, that will Love and cherish me through the good and the bad.

I am not afraid to let go anymore of anything or anyone who is toxic, I am not afraid to let go of people who cause me to question my worth and don’t understand my value. I know it is okay to love from a distance, especially if you have tried to exist in peace more than once. It is okay to be free of anyone who hurts you, and has shown you nothing but pain and selfish ways.

Don’t let the storms of life break you

I don’t have anything else that I feel is pure freedom for me. I’ve been writing poetry for a long time, and I just recently decided to take it up a level and blog…. I call it my own personal journal for the world to see full of truth, pain, overcoming, and so much more just a closer step to sharing my full complete story with the world. I write to encourage the next with hope that someone won’t have to go through, some of the things that I’ve endured and to be of help to the next, here recently in my own struggles with somethings my voice has almost been taken away and I will explain. I usually don’t go so deep into my life or get too personal….. But, I feel like someone may need encouragement to keep the faith, and not allow the storm(s) they maybe going through to break them. 052a903cd5aa2be0c0cb4420366c95e3bdde06-v5-wm°In the toughest storms a true warrior is born. Remember, the storms cannot break you because you have the power to control the storms.

I am a woman of faith who believes in prayer….  I believe in the Higher Power of God! And that there is a ruler over earth, with more power than the President who walks the earth. Prayer to me changes many things but without true works it is dead. We must believe in ourselves and the power that we hold, to speak to any storm even when it feels as if it is raging!!!!!! I’ve been through many things, so much so at times it can become overwhelming with many questions. I feel like from the middle of 2015 to now has been literally the worse, my point is we always think what we go through is very difficult to get through. But, there will always be something that comes a long to top it all off(much worse) leaving you like hmmm…….. From the middle of 2015 to now I’ve dealt with betrayal that left me feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I mean I felt like I was suffocating from the inside out, I just couldn’t understand it for nothing or why it happened but it taught me a lot. I will tell this story later on in my book, just know that in that storm I learned the true meaning of true forgiveness.

Fast-forward to now and I must say even though that was one of the hardest things. This year hasn’t been a easy one either. I truly believe with every test there is a reason for it, and why the storms come even when it may feel like you’re drowning!!!!  Trust me when I say we have the power to survive, I haven’t wrote a blog for a minute for many reasons. My voice had been silenced and I just realized, it was the enemy way of trying to shut me up. Dealing first with the loss of a family member, that left me stuck and literally frozen in pain amongst some other things…… As well as dealing with a few situations of my own, went to one doctor and he told me I had a growth on my right vocal card. And if it isn’t gone by the the next time I see him, he will have to do a biopsy to check and make sure it isn’t cancer(I’ve heard that word so much it is crazy) after that I had another test done and that report didn’t come back too good. With talks of possible surgery I mean I’ve gotten to the point I have no words, only words I have these days are “But God” and I will keep on praying. I use these few things as a example, even though there is much more to my story(I will leave out for now)and only I can tell it. It gets really hard at times but I hold on to the fact, that God is a God of grace and His grace is sufficient and His Love is powerful. And that no matter what we go through, we must believe that there is better and greater ahead of us. So keep trusting and have faith that the storm(s) won’t last long, a great man once told me “It gets greater later.” And that is why I continue to fight because I am determined, to see and have my Greater!