Dear You from me(conversation with God)

I have came to a conclusion here at the ending of 2018, and it took me a while but I got here. I listen to God often and today I heard Him loud and clear, He spoke to me and said my child life is too short to keep holding on to someone that don’t even know your worth. Someone who never took a true chance on getting to know you, someone who made a lot of promises to you and broke every single one without a care. Someone who lied to you, lied on you, and slandered your name in more ways than one. Someone you love(d) dearly and forgave over and over in spite of wrong, someone you respect(ed) and the person broke trust and respect with you. Someone who judged your flaws and you loved him through all of his, someone who taught you so much and brought deep hurt to you at the same time.

Someone who made you feel bad for pointing out the lies told to you, and made you feel like the wrong one for saying how the promises to you weren’t kept. My child you haven’t lost anything, you kept loving in spite of so much wrong. And one day he will see what was lost, he will see the depth of your loyalty. He will see the depth of your love, honor, and respect. He will see how he treated you indifferent and wronged you, shift now my child. I know you been hurting for a while, because you cannot understand how someone you trusted and shared your secrets with would bring you so much pain. Don’t let this linger any more heal completely now and move on to better, you have suffered and you have been kind. You have been loyal and you have loved in truth, you have been forgiving and beyond understanding. Have peace in knowing you have been good, and you have done in action what many denie in words. You have loved with your whole heart, and from the depths of your soul. I know you love him and he knows it too, but you deserve so much more better than what he has given you.

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2AM

For the last few nights I have been up way past time simply because my mind won’t stop moving. He has been on my mind the good and the bad, wondering what do you do when you understand a person response. But don’t understand their reaction, everything from the last few years are coming back to me. I am reminded of the pain because of him, being anywhere close to him brings up the pain.

Truth is I took time to try to get rid of something that won’t leave, you cannot make anyone see they are supposed to be in your life. You cannot make anyone see the pain they have caused, when they are simply too selfish. I haven’t been the only one to bring this word to life regarding him and it is truth. The most selfish, stubborn, prideful, good, loving, awesome man I have known. Everyone has two sides to them and it is simple hell that I know them both, when you love someone you love through the good and the bad. He took my heart and soul from me, I love him so much it hurts. And I mean that literally it is painful, it is a thought process of why? Why will my heart not let him go, I know the answer is because I am supposed to love him. He is supposed to be in my life I need him to be there so much, that it simply aches every inch of my soul. The love for him gave me reason and helped saved my life, when it simply felt hard to breathe. Even though it hurts so bad, I have to let him go. He don’t deserve this love and he’ll honestly never find one like me, that will be loyal as I have and understanding. No more, I am tired, you cannot win with a prideful and stubborn heart. There is simply nothing else left to give, Dear God please heal. Please restore and rebuild and don’t allow this pain, to be inflicted off on others. Don’t allow not understanding to cause unwanted questions. I am more than worthy to call friend, I am worth it to get to know. I am a good woman who is beautiful and loving, I am a soul with a heart who matters. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am awesome and a good loyal woman. I will have s support system around me, one who shows no jealousy. Ones who don’t gossip, or do horrible backbiting and tearing me down as a human. I will be blessed with family who isn’t blood, that will Love and cherish me through the good and the bad.

I am not afraid to let go anymore of anything or anyone who is toxic, I am not afraid to let go of people who cause me to question my worth and don’t understand my value. I know it is okay to love from a distance, especially if you have tried to exist in peace more than once. It is okay to be free of anyone who hurts you, and has shown you nothing but pain and selfish ways.

To Know You

To know you was like a dream and full with many great things. A gift to the universe with a heart so big and pure, one of a kind special and real. A teacher, a friend, a encourager, a listener full with patience and inspiration full of light and love for the world. Called for something greater than you could ever imagine, to know you is a blessing full with truth and one could never  understand. What valuable lessons one learned and how empowering it is just to know you.

A woman lost and scorn heart literally clawed at by what she thought was real love. When fact is she didn’t really know love until you a true friend she was to you. The walk of strength and courage full with wisdom, all wrapped up with perfection in you. Created by a higher Power, that left a light so bright in you that even the stars couldn’t outshine you. To know you is to know someone so remarkable, a kind and loving most of all caring soul you are. Who helped a lost soul find her worth, and gain more strength. Who pushed her for the better with encouragement, when she didn’t even believe in herself and the connection/bond. Made her want to be even more  stronger, braver, bolder, and truly more courageous!!!! She wanted nothing more than to love you forever, what she saw in you was grace it is what made her care for you deeply she saw your heart of truth.

She saw your heart that’s what she became connected to. She saw the beauty of the Highest Power within you, she saw inspiration and a new smile of happiness in you each day she was in your presence. Her voice became silent as she listened humbly in submission, a woman of respect and courage listening to wisdom… She didn’t want to miss nothing a new lesson learned everytime she heard you speak. She saw a prince a true son of a King, she saw love and someone Highly Favored! What she saw in you was some thing incredible and unshakable, cannot be created twice one of kind you are and forever will be. To know You what a honor she is for ever grateful, to know you is a blessing one she will cherish a kind heart with a gentle and giving spirit.

I remember

I-remember-every-word-you-told-me°I remember praying and covering you every night in prayer. Sometimes awakened early in the morning to pray for you, the prayers weren’t prayers to bless me with you but prayers to God to cover you. I was shown some things and felt them deep in my soul, called for something Greater than you know! I still remember the day I heard the words to that prayer that took me deep in thought, I remember the connection and the bond I remember a true friend once upon a time. I remember promises, I remember caring, I remember love, I remember inspiration, I remember one of a kind, I remember a encourager, I remember a selfless, giving, kind, humble, loving, down to earth, remarkable being I remember…. I remember someone who spoke life to any situation just like me, I remember a Supporter I remember so much.

*Dear Women*

In life we will meet one that change our views on everything, helping us to see things we may have been blinded to. Pushing us to be even more Greater and helping us to see our full potential, we are always in the right place at the right time! But, we have to remember no one is never that perfect even though we want them to be. And we should never allow anyone to hold that much power but God, it is ok to love and have people in your corner to push and encourage you. But you have to know who you completely are, before anyone can add to you and help push you even more. Don’t lose yourself giving your all to just anyone, without being completely sure that they’re there to stay. This is why we cannot put everyone into the friend category etcetera , because everyone that smile and looks our way isn’t our friend.

People can make promises and say they will be there but what do their actions say? That’s what we must watch…. Not holding on to every word for dear life in the end to be heartbroken, because that person walked away without warning. You can be loyal to someone that just might not see you the same. Someone who didn’t see your heart because if they truly did, they would’ve known just how much you genuinely did care and believed in them.

*Anyone who genuinely wants to be in your life, will be in your life and show it and nothing or no one will stop them.

You will always know who genuinely has your back and who don’t. So never try to make anyone see your worth or stay, if they want to leave let them go and don’t dare try and make them keep their word! Dear Women, you are so worthy of the love you give rather it is to a friend or whomever! Remember you cannot force anyone to receive the love you give at all. And always keep in mind it is not your lost but their lost when they walk away . So dry your eyes and hold your head up high! I Know It won’t be easy when you truly love someone it never is, but in due time it shall get better just remember everything you learned good and bad. So, God forbid if you ever find yourself in the same predicament again. You will let it go faster saving yourself time, and no more heartache.