If I could sit down and talk to you face to face here is what I would say.
I would lay everything out on the table beginning with no lies from both sides and all honesty. I would look you in your eyes, and ask you to promise me no more lies.
Let’s begin: You hurt me, I know you remember our conversation that went like this. I don’t trust people and I find it hard to trust them, because anyone I love(d) has always found a way to hurt me and let me down. And you told me you would never allow anyone to come between us, you said any time I ever needed you that you would be one call away. And if you didn’t answer quickly, you would return my call asap. You always did exactly that and more, I remember one time I couldn’t stop crying. In fact this night I was positive I wouldn’t see the morning, I was so broken from a heavy pain I lost for a moment the memory of who I was. But you called me and talked to me, and told me how you believed in me. You reminded me of what I forgot for a moment, and said I was stronger than that. You said I shall live and not die, you said I had to fight for my better. You always had a way of pushing me, to be the best and a stronger me. You where my friend and someone I trusted, and helped save my life.
You broke my heart: I knew I was meant to share a bond with you, it’s basically like I had been knowing you forever. The love I had for you was like none other, it was a genuine love deep from my soul. I was loyal, I was respectful, I was honest, and most of all a real friend. The day that all got taken away because you let other’s in, was the day my heart ached so bad. It was a pain so deep, I could barely breathe. A pain so hard it left me lifeless without a care, I wasn’t even myself anymore.
You broke trust: You betrayed me on more than one occasion, but yet I still loved you. Yet I still honored you, yet I still trusted you. I need you to know the love I had for you, that love will never be duplicated. That’s a one of a kind love that went through the storm, and even when I was loyal to you and you stopped being loyal to me. I kept in my heart the beginning, and everything you said. I kept in my heart I knew you loved me, and just didn’t know how to deal with the jealousy of others when they asked why me?
And even when you painted this picture like it was all me, when fact is a woman will only react to what she receive. I went through a moment of hating you and for betraying me, I went through a moment of hate and hurt. When you started to treat me badly and others around better than me. I went through a moment of hate when I know for a fact, you started to have my name in your mouth negatively. I went through a moment of hate when you broke your promise, when you started to have them look/treat me rudely. You promised me that it was not you, and you weren’t back biting. But my heart says other wise and it never lies to me, in fact if I followed my heart many times and listened to my gut. Truth is it would’ve saved me from a lot of heartbreak/pain.
Now: Here it is now when I can finally reach a true place of healing, a true place of acceptance. Of knowing it wasn’t me and it was all you, your broken promises cost me a great deal of pain. Made me look like I was a bad person and I was okay with that, I was okay with anything if it meant protecting you. I know in the end love won over hate, and exactly how I knew I genuinely loved you. I looked past your flaws to remember the good, I looked past the broken promises, judgement, indifference, and hurt. I looked past it all and went back to the beginning of THE ONE, the one I genuinely know over the person in the end. That kind, loving, thoughtful, funny, selfless, amazing beautiful soul. The one that regardless of the wrong and hurt, I would go to war for. I would hurt anyone over if they hurt you in any kind of way, some would say I am stupid. When fact is I am just real, I know when something is meant. And fact is I was meant to love you for real, and with healing after the pain. I know I was meant to love you regardless, in spite of our differences. I hand true forgiveness to you, it’s not for you it is genuinely for me. That last part of healing to move on completely, thank you for the good and the bad.
Side note: No one but me knows how recent this was, I write from past and present to help those who maybe dealing or still dealing with a similar situation.