2AM

For the last few nights I have been up way past time simply because my mind won’t stop moving. He has been on my mind the good and the bad, wondering what do you do when you understand a person response. But don’t understand their reaction, everything from the last few years are coming back to me. I am reminded of the pain because of him, being anywhere close to him brings up the pain.

Truth is I took time to try to get rid of something that won’t leave, you cannot make anyone see they are supposed to be in your life. You cannot make anyone see the pain they have caused, when they are simply too selfish. I haven’t been the only one to bring this word to life regarding him and it is truth. The most selfish, stubborn, prideful, good, loving, awesome man I have known. Everyone has two sides to them and it is simple hell that I know them both, when you love someone you love through the good and the bad. He took my heart and soul from me, I love him so much it hurts. And I mean that literally it is painful, it is a thought process of why? Why will my heart not let him go, I know the answer is because I am supposed to love him. He is supposed to be in my life I need him to be there so much, that it simply aches every inch of my soul. The love for him gave me reason and helped saved my life, when it simply felt hard to breathe. Even though it hurts so bad, I have to let him go. He don’t deserve this love and he’ll honestly never find one like me, that will be loyal as I have and understanding. No more, I am tired, you cannot win with a prideful and stubborn heart. There is simply nothing else left to give, Dear God please heal. Please restore and rebuild and don’t allow this pain, to be inflicted off on others. Don’t allow not understanding to cause unwanted questions. I am more than worthy to call friend, I am worth it to get to know. I am a good woman who is beautiful and loving, I am a soul with a heart who matters. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am awesome and a good loyal woman. I will have s support system around me, one who shows no jealousy. Ones who don’t gossip, or do horrible backbiting and tearing me down as a human. I will be blessed with family who isn’t blood, that will Love and cherish me through the good and the bad.

I am not afraid to let go anymore of anything or anyone who is toxic, I am not afraid to let go of people who cause me to question my worth and don’t understand my value. I know it is okay to love from a distance, especially if you have tried to exist in peace more than once. It is okay to be free of anyone who hurts you, and has shown you nothing but pain and selfish ways.

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To Know You

To know you was like a dream and full with many great things. A gift to the universe with a heart so big and pure, one of a kind special and real. A teacher, a friend, a encourager, a listener full with patience and inspiration full of light and love for the world. Called for something greater than you could ever imagine, to know you is a blessing full with truth and one could never  understand. What valuable lessons one learned and how empowering it is just to know you.

A woman lost and scorn heart literally clawed at by what she thought was real love. When fact is she didn’t really know love until you a true friend she was to you. The walk of strength and courage full with wisdom, all wrapped up with perfection in you. Created by a higher Power, that left a light so bright in you that even the stars couldn’t outshine you. To know you is to know someone so remarkable, a kind and loving most of all caring soul you are. Who helped a lost soul find her worth, and gain more strength. Who pushed her for the better with encouragement, when she didn’t even believe in herself and the connection/bond. Made her want to be even more  stronger, braver, bolder, and truly more courageous!!!! She wanted nothing more than to love you forever, what she saw in you was grace it is what made her care for you deeply she saw your heart of truth.

She saw your heart that’s what she became connected to. She saw the beauty of the Highest Power within you, she saw inspiration and a new smile of happiness in you each day she was in your presence. Her voice became silent as she listened humbly in submission, a woman of respect and courage listening to wisdom… She didn’t want to miss nothing a new lesson learned everytime she heard you speak. She saw a prince a true son of a King, she saw love and someone Highly Favored! What she saw in you was some thing incredible and unshakable, cannot be created twice one of kind you are and forever will be. To know You what a honor she is for ever grateful, to know you is a blessing one she will cherish a kind heart with a gentle and giving spirit.

When enough becomes enough!

I have always been a writer and started writing poetry at a young age… I am a thinker who goes beyond the surface. I am realistic and a very humble being, who sees truth for what it is. My view has always been black and white. Adding color a long the way from my heart I have always been kind, and a giver at times I feel I give too much!!!! But, I realize that will never change and I will always be me… My point is this, many will try to figure you out or spend time judging you on what they think they know. But, when will enough become enough? And you get to the point where you get delivered from the opinions of others?

°There will come a point in life when you have to distance yourself from the naysayers and doubters.

You have moved forward not looking back but yet everytime you turn around, someone reminds you of your past mistakes…. Let them go!  You will never be able to accomplish all the great things you have inside of you. Allowing people to hinder your growth judging you based on your past. Some people will actually see you doing better and literally hate it, because they cannot face the fact that you have changed and deserve a chance. Don’t allow people to disqualify you or make you feel anything less than the best that you’re! You have a right to walk in all your greatness, without anyone holding old things against you or judging you on your situation and things you have been through.

°Stop judging people and learn to love them in truth! No one has the right to play God!

We all go through and fact is no one on this earth is perfect.  If people would spend less time judging and more time helping to build one another up. The world would be a little more better, but some people would rather tear one another down. I always do my best to touch on topics that are true….How do I know they’re true?  Because at one point I was you…….. I believe people truly underestimate the power that they can sometimes hold. Words hold power and instead of using them to build.  People often use them the wrong way and that’s when “Enough Becomes Enough” and people should learn to be more aware of the words they speak. Judging someone off their difficulties and obstacles don’t help the person. Especially if you have never walked a mile in their shoes. Better yet if you had to put their shoes on, I am sure you would keep yours instead. Never forget there is always someone out there with a story greater than yours.  

°Allow love to win°

Be encouraged no matter what you maybe going through . Don’t allow situations and most of all people to hold you back. They may know where you came from but will never understand your now. Until they catch up to you and who you’re, and not who you used to be! If they don’t learn to love them from a distance. Because those who truly love you and care for you, won’t work against you. And their actions and not just words will show just how much they love you!!!!