I have came to a conclusion here at the ending of 2018, and it took me a while but I got here. I listen to God often and today I heard Him loud and clear, He spoke to me and said my child life is too short to keep holding on to someone that don’t even know your worth. Someone who never took a true chance on getting to know you, someone who made a lot of promises to you and broke every single one without a care. Someone who lied to you, lied on you, and slandered your name in more ways than one. Someone you love(d) dearly and forgave over and over in spite of wrong, someone you respect(ed) and the person broke trust and respect with you. Someone who judged your flaws and you loved him through all of his, someone who taught you so much and brought deep hurt to you at the same time.
Someone who made you feel bad for pointing out the lies told to you, and made you feel like the wrong one for saying how the promises to you weren’t kept. My child you haven’t lost anything, you kept loving in spite of so much wrong. And one day he will see what was lost, he will see the depth of your loyalty. He will see the depth of your love, honor, and respect. He will see how he treated you indifferent and wronged you, shift now my child. I know you been hurting for a while, because you cannot understand how someone you trusted and shared your secrets with would bring you so much pain. Don’t let this linger any more heal completely now and move on to better, you have suffered and you have been kind. You have been loyal and you have loved in truth, you have been forgiving and beyond understanding. Have peace in knowing you have been good, and you have done in action what many denie in words. You have loved with your whole heart, and from the depths of your soul. I know you love him and he knows it too, but you deserve so much more better than what he has given you.
When you sleep the day away to avoid thinking about the one you Love, and even then the one you Love end up in your dreams. You cannot understand why the LOVE won’t go away, it has been years and you have prayed and cried dear God please take it from my heart and soul. A person who means so much to you and helped save you, challenged you for the better and helped make you a better person. Someone you was beyond loyal to and encouraged through hard times, was there just to listen any time you was needed.
How do you just over look the hurt and pain they caused You? I mean they did nothing in the end but judge you and for what? You watched the one you Love in truth, past the flaws he has and the broken promises he made. You watched him go out his way to get to know others, and judge you without truly knowing you and started to push you away when things got too deep. When outsiders voiced their jealous opinions on your bond, when outsiders started to worry about something that truly didn’t concern them. But you really cannot blame them when he put them their, he cannot make up his mind what he wants from you. One day he is kind to you and the next, he treats you like you are his enemy and for what like what is he struggling with? You are only guilty of loving him genuinely, and wondering what’s up with his negative actions? So many unanswered questions you left with, and now you are stuck. You stuck in love with a man you adore, you know he is meant to be in your life in some kind of a way. You know you need him and deep down inside you feel he care, but you refuse to deal with a indecisive man. One who just has so much to heal from, because when you hurt someone who truly love you and believe in you. And has done nothing but respect and protect you, even in times you didn’t deserve it she still genuinely love you. That’s a loyal friend, a good woman, who really cherish you and you just hurt her because she love you in your opinion just too much. Now she left living with a broken heart, finding ways to survive without the one she truly loves and that ain’t a easy task. But she goes on daily, hoping and praying that with time it gets better.
For the last few nights I have been up way past time simply because my mind won’t stop moving. He has been on my mind the good and the bad, wondering what do you do when you understand a person response. But don’t understand their reaction, everything from the last few years are coming back to me. I am reminded of the pain because of him, being anywhere close to him brings up the pain.
Truth is I took time to try to get rid of something that won’t leave, you cannot make anyone see they are supposed to be in your life. You cannot make anyone see the pain they have caused, when they are simply too selfish. I haven’t been the only one to bring this word to life regarding him and it is truth. The most selfish, stubborn, prideful, good, loving, awesome man I have known. Everyone has two sides to them and it is simple hell that I know them both, when you love someone you love through the good and the bad. He took my heart and soul from me, I love him so much it hurts. And I mean that literally it is painful, it is a thought process of why? Why will my heart not let him go, I know the answer is because I am supposed to love him. He is supposed to be in my life I need him to be there so much, that it simply aches every inch of my soul. The love for him gave me reason and helped saved my life, when it simply felt hard to breathe. Even though it hurts so bad, I have to let him go. He don’t deserve this love and he’ll honestly never find one like me, that will be loyal as I have and understanding. No more, I am tired, you cannot win with a prideful and stubborn heart. There is simply nothing else left to give, Dear God please heal. Please restore and rebuild and don’t allow this pain, to be inflicted off on others. Don’t allow not understanding to cause unwanted questions. I am more than worthy to call friend, I am worth it to get to know. I am a good woman who is beautiful and loving, I am a soul with a heart who matters. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am awesome and a good loyal woman. I will have s support system around me, one who shows no jealousy. Ones who don’t gossip, or do horrible backbiting and tearing me down as a human. I will be blessed with family who isn’t blood, that will Love and cherish me through the good and the bad.
I am not afraid to let go anymore of anything or anyone who is toxic, I am not afraid to let go of people who cause me to question my worth and don’t understand my value. I know it is okay to love from a distance, especially if you have tried to exist in peace more than once. It is okay to be free of anyone who hurts you, and has shown you nothing but pain and selfish ways.
To know you was like a dream and full with many great things. A gift to the universe with a heart so big and pure, one of a kind special and real. A teacher, a friend, a encourager, a listener full with patience and inspiration full of light and love for the world. Called for something greater than you could ever imagine, to know you is a blessing full with truth and one could never understand. What valuable lessons one learned and how empowering it is just to know you.
A woman lost and scorn heart literally clawed at by what she thought was real love. When fact is she didn’t really know love until you a true friend she was to you. The walk of strength and courage full with wisdom, all wrapped up with perfection in you. Created by a higher Power, that left a light so bright in you that even the stars couldn’t outshine you. To know you is to know someone so remarkable, a kind and loving most of all caring soul you are. Who helped a lost soul find her worth, and gain more strength. Who pushed her for the better with encouragement, when she didn’t even believe in herself and the connection/bond. Made her want to be even more stronger, braver, bolder, and truly more courageous!!!! She wanted nothing more than to love you forever, what she saw in you was grace it is what made her care for you deeply she saw your heart of truth.
She saw your heart that’s what she became connected to. She saw the beauty of the Highest Power within you, she saw inspiration and a new smile of happiness in you each day she was in your presence. Her voice became silent as she listened humbly in submission, a woman of respect and courage listening to wisdom… She didn’t want to miss nothing a new lesson learned everytime she heard you speak. She saw a prince a true son of a King, she saw love and someone Highly Favored! What she saw in you was some thing incredible and unshakable, cannot be created twice one of kind you are and forever will be. To know You what a honor she is for ever grateful, to know you is a blessing one she will cherish a kind heart with a gentle and giving spirit.
Be brave enough to find out who you’re on your own so you can understand your worth. Because if you don’t you will end up searching for it in all the wrong places, not realizing you’re adding salt to open wounds…….Instead of taking the time to understand what’s making you do all the things you do. You continue running in circles falling into the arms of the wrong man. Searching for love and understanding, and sometimes want(having someone who wants you, and someone who genuinely loves you for who you’re are two totally different things. I ask the Question “Young Woman What Are You Searching For, And Do You Know Your True Worth?” Please allow me to help you by speaking life to your situation, because you have so much to offer to this world!!!!!!
Yes you’re beautiful every one of you. But, I wonder do you know you’re Royalty? You may ask how is that? Let me explain something to you……. When you were created in your mothers womb, you were created for a divine purpose by a higher power. And anyone who has power and is Ruler over earth, is a King above all kings that walk this earth. So being birth through your earthly mother inherited from a King, that makes you the daughter(s) of Royalty!!!! So please understand you deserve nothing but the best, and that starts with you speaking those words of good and not bad over yourself. You don’t have to go searching for it in a man, or whatever your situation is to make yourself feel worthy. You’re worthy all by yourself and and hearing “whomever ” say it don’t matter at all. Because your Higher Power has already said it and that’s all that matters. Even if you’re a young princess with a absentee father, you will always have a Father through the King…….. And He wants nothing but the best for you in every single way there is for you to have good.
°Be still and listen to your inner voice.
You need to know who you’re for many reasons and most of all know your worth. Because if you don’t a little boy(trying to be a man) will sometimes make you question your worth if you aren’t careful. That’s why you must be strong mentally, emotionally, and spiritually on your own. So when you say “No”(no matter the situation) your “No” will hold power with a firm I Mean It!!!! Men can smell your weakness and will play off of it if you’re not careful. Young woman never lose your power and understand this, you don’t need to give yourself to any man(boy) to feel as if you’re somebody. Or to feel love that usually won’t last long, and 99%of the time it wasn’t love at all it was lust. Because any young man that really loves you young woman, will be willing to wait for you and that is real talk.
°Your body is a temple so therefore it must stay clean and holy at all times.
Wait with purpose and stay pure and don’t give yourself away, staying far away from any soulties that will keep you bound/broken mentally or spiritually. Because that’s what will happen when you end up with the wrong one, and don’t wait on the right one. And giving yourself a way takes a way a part of you that is so precious, don’t empty yourself to just a simple man or a boyfriend. Because if he really values you, he will make you his wife without hesitation and trust me when I say this . There are many talks you can have about life, many walks in the parks you can take. And many movies, bowling, skating, and even church functions you can go to you can even volunteer together. There are so many things to keep you occupied and extra busy, and truly learning about the one you say you love and the one that says he loves you. I hope I have encouraged you in some way or another, you’re valuable and precious jewels understand it and believe it. And everything else will fall into place for you, as you keep waiting with paintence on the one sent by The King just for you. Stay the beautiful rose 🌹 The Higher Power created you to be, if you have made a mistake in the past understand forgiveness is yours. All you have to do is ask for it and know that you’re forgiven, and simply start now with the wait you owe it to yourself.