It’s 6:20 am on a Thursday morning and I’ve been up for hours. I really don’t blog anymore until I am given permission and freedom to, I’m feeling a lot of pain in my heart and soul. I feel some for me and yet I feel the pain/confusion of another, I also feel a bit of resentment for reasons I’ll leave out this blog. Because by the ending you’ll understand why& I don’t want to unload on others so much. I was lead to watch a movie it literally popped in my spirit, I remember the teaching moments that came from it when I watched it years ago. And I feel like the Spirit of the living God lead me back for a reason I’ll explain, as tears of healing ran down my face.
Before I even watched the movie I sent this one person(the one I came to know after my soulmate) a message. I told him how we needed to let each other go, because he made the choice of where he wanted to be& he couldn’t have me either. I’ve personally been here before with the message & I would unsend it because of the soul tie that kept us bound, I knew he wouldn’t let me go so I personally had to do it for the both of us and I will stay strong and the message wasn’t unsent either. As women we give so much and love is at the top of that list, we sacrifice so much and yet receive so little in return because when we love. We love with our whole heart and soul and as Beyoncé said, the best part we always end up giving is sacrifice and sometimes we sacrifice ourselves in the process.
I sacrificed myself for almost 10 years with the man I genuinely loved with my heart & soul and the man I always told it was like I knew him from another life. A man that knew the depth of the love I had for him, and just how much and watching that movie reminded me just how much. I feel his soul still!!! (It was a bond and divine connection and nothing intimate) But what happens when you have to let go of a person, that no longer serves you purpose in your life? A person you feel judged your flaws, and became so mean and hateful towards you simply because you loved him so much. And he was a huge reason why you loved him so much, he was a friend, he was one who prayed for you, he encouraged you and helped save your life by loving you to the point it gave you comfort and peace and strength. And yet your love for him, was greater than the love he had for you.
You learn to live without the one you love and your soul will always be connected to. You understand that everything has a season, and you understand you cannot force anyone to receive all the Love you have to offer them. Sometimes they are blinded by what they think is better, keep in mind even through all your flaws you have to remember it doesn’t get no better than you. And the love in the movie’s can be real too, there will be a man that loves you without judgment and doesn’t hold anything against you because he knows he’ll never find no one better than you. And deep down inside he knows that love you gave him, he will desire for it when it’s too late and that’s simply not your fault. Because any man that genuinely loves you, will love you through it all and you will be his one and only. He understands there’s no perfect woman, and he’s not a perfect man. When judgement has overshadowed the purpose, and one gives up the fight for real love either due to outside voices from others overshadowing his own heart desires.
It’s simply best to find your way through the pain and the hurt full with disappointment. And know by faith, that on the other side of a broken heart is joy and restoration and someone down the path of life that will be exactly what you are& that’s Love. They’ll understand the meaning and value the word of God, when He speaks about what Love truly is. And in that movie a young boy who did what it took to fit in with the popular people. He learned at a young age what Love truly was, and loved a young dying girl that wasn’t popular until her last days upon the earth because she was sick and lost her battle with cancer and found her miracle in him. He gave her what so many men lack these days, he gave her his heart without fear. Only fear he had was not making every moment count, with the woman he wasn’t afraid to love with her flaws and all. We all have flaws and aren’t perfect, and yet women are rejected so much for this. Sometimes that rejection comes because of the unhealthy wounds within that man, he judges in her what needs to be healed in him.
ladyebonyl 